Odi et Amo

Reformed-homo?

I’m kind of at a loss currently…

Recently I had a rather sexual dream about a lady and it produced results that I didn’t think I’d experience (hard on, etc). Then the other day in the tub my mind began to wonder and I began fantasizing about a woman…this is when I got confused, one reason being that…I…was fantasizing about a woman…and another reason…it gave me the hardest and most engorged hard on I’ve had in a long time.

I’ve felt emotional attachment to girls before..and before I didn’t feel anything really sexual or physical towards a girl before. But now…I’m changing maybe?

Needless to say I’m really, really, really confused.

I still find men ridiculously attractive, but now women are coming into the fray..apparently. If the boy and I ever break up (We probably will but I’ll enjoy it while it lasts of course), I think I’d attempt a relationship with a female…

So yeah…I think I realized that sexuality is not black and white, strictly defined…since this mindfuck popped up at least.

I’m just worried that if some of my girlfriends found out that they’d feel awkward. A lot of things we’d do they’d say ‘oh its alright, you’re gay!’. But if I say ‘oh hey…I kind of sometimes find girls irresistable…’. That would change, I wouldn’t want to lose a friend over this. But if someone really has a problem with it, then I guess they never were really worth it yeah?

Yeah, anyways….

Im doing my taxes tonight, applied for EI, and have been applying for jobs like no tomorrow. Heres hoping I get something! Hope y’all are good :)